Who am I really?
by Alonelyhawk
Summary: After the cottage, Nora left Josh to his hatred of his wolf. The next full moon however brings a change in him that leaves him torn on who he really is. Her voice echo's in his ears, just as the change hits him making him scream in joy. {Rewrite of season 2's ending into season 3.}


It's been... Years... Far to long to not post anything. I had almost forgotten about this site until a got a review a few days ago.

I thought I had lost everything.

But instead I had only lost who I was.

I will not be forgotten.

I do not own any of the BBC Characters or the US version of Being Human. I enjoy the show as does everyone else.

This will be a story about Josh so if he is not your favorite character please don't flame me.

I switch a bit between first and third POV but you can tell who's talking, thinking is done in Italics and Dialogue will be distinguishable.

I was unhappy with the current season so I decided to do a rewrite towards the characters I enjoy along with more action and less soap opera.

Acceptance

Josh sat in the cabin, exactly a month had passed since Aiden had killed Conner of the twins. He looked at the blood covered cabin doorway, he could smell the blood that had dried. It made him queasy thinking about leaving Nora here to clean up the mess. He smelt her perfume in the air still. It hung around him like all the other problems he had in his life.

The missing police officer Cecilia went under investigation, Josh saw the two detectives that had followed him to his storage locker but they still couldn't remember who he was. It looked like things were in the clear.

He sat there on the floor of the abandoned cabin, it was the night of the full moon and he had left work early, not to sulk but to remember what happened that night. He went there with intentions of trying to calm himself before turning into an unruly beast that had tried to kill his best friend, which he had apologized for days straight about that night. However Aiden knew Nora was Josh's world, she really was, but for an instance he realized that with her gone Josh was alone again. Josh had told him about how she had been pouring her heart out on loving who she was now, and he felt nothing but shame.

_"I was the one who turned her, hell I didn't even know until she saved my life, and I lost her Aiden, I lost her to something I hate." _He put his hands behind his head as he stood and began paced around the shed as the conversation came back to him.

Nora had been fired from the hospital for not showing up, a few of the nurses would whisper back and forth when they saw Josh working, things about how all they did was fight and how she seemed like she was hiding something and about the day that her ex had showed up. Word traveled around fast the day that happened and how suddenly he was found dead. Oh yeah the rumors of her being on the lamb were whispered too.

Would she and Brynn show up here tonight?

Josh sighed and rubbed his hands on the stubble on his cheeks.

I mean they were technically a "pack" now. He bobbed his head as he placed his hand on his chin and continued to pace the floor. His skin started to crawl, the change was close but he still had a few minutes. The night sky was as clear as ever and the moon hung through the trees lighting up the entire forest. Removing his shoes, socks and shirt he exited the shed and started walking into the forest. Secretly he wanted Nora to be there, to wake up the next morning holding her.

But he wasn't the wolf she was. The wolf he had made her.

His body wanted to change but he held onto who he was for a bit longer. The fighting started to make his muscles ache, his blood boiled. He finished striping down to wearing absolutely nothing. He stood in the moonlight trying to hold onto to who he was for however long he could.

Then he heard it, a wolf howl. It wasn't Nora's it was Brynn's. She was already changed by the sounds of it and it seemed like they were far away from him. Suddenly everything hit him, the waves of pain as his body changed. Nails growing longer, teeth extending, the sharp tear sounds of flesh. He heard her howl again, followed by Nora's. He screamed as his vocal cords deepened and turned into a howl and his back arched as the bones changed.

In the midst of his body contorting and changing he grew angry. He wanted her, he wanted to take her, but he knew that was the wolf talking. He mentally screamed at himself.

_SHE IS NO LONGER OURS! SHE WILL NEVER BE OURS! NOT ANYMORE!_

By now the wolf who had normally taken over his entire body while the world was black to him wasn't there.

Normally it would be leading him, controlling his every movement.

And to him it would end up the next day just as another dream.

However, tonight was different. Tonight he was in control of his wolf body.

It took him a few minutes to regain composer from what felt like a good night at the local bar. The world spun and his body ached. He closed his eyes and reopened them a few times.

This was really happening. He was really in control for once. Even though the urges were still there, he wanted to hunt, he wanted to mate, he wanted actually what seemed like everything at once. He took a few deeps breaths. The cool night air smelt amazing, he took one of the deepest breaths he could imagine. Smells of pine, other animals, dirt, moister in the air. It all hit his nostrils.

Is this what the twins and Nora could remember? Were they actually in control of their wolf too? Why was I suddenly in control of this?

He felt strong. Even though his body was down on all fours he felt fast. What was this feeling?

Was he free?

The dirt felt amazing as he dug his now clawed paws into it. He heard another howl, he could clearly understand it as if someone were speaking words to him.

_"Goodbye,"_

Goodbye? What did she mean goodbye? Were they leaving forever? He tried to speak but it only ended up as a low rumble of a growl coming out of his fanged mouth. He tried a few times to get sound to come from him.

_"Nora, don't leave me,"_ he finally managed to howl with sorrow in his tone. Silence was all that he was given, even after waiting for what seemed like an hour. Suddenly he could smell her, the soft sent of her perfume filled each nostril.

The wolf told him to run after her, told him to find her, to make her his. That's what the wolf wanted, as for Josh, he just wanted to be free.

He ran, in every direction he could think of, he felt every muscle in his body stretch and pull. It was wonderful to him, every stride was a new feeling, the dirt on the ground the pine in the air, the scent of blood that hit him suddenly.

_Blood?_

For a moment the wolf tried to take control it started running full speed toward the blood, Josh screamed at himself trying to take his body back. His voice was being drowned out by the sound of snarling and growling getting louder.

Suddenly the world went black.

The wolf was now in charge.

He woke up to the sounds of birds chirping and sunlight directly shining in his eyes. Where was he? He sat up with a start and looked around, the cabin was in walking distance behind him. As every day after the full moon he was dirty, dirt covered from head to toe, blood on his arms, hands and shoulders.

" Oh what did I do now," he grabbed his head. A dull ache kept him from standing, the light hurt his eyes and his senses were still over working, he could hear a car alarm going off in the nearest town along with other annoying sounds. He stood slowly as his body ached, his muscles were still on fire as he took each step. Something was different this morning, he walked into the cabin to grab his bag of clothes when he stopped.

There was an arm, a torn and shredded arm laying on the cabins floor along with a trail of blood leading out of the doorway.

" Oh god, oh god, what did I do?!" He raced to put his clothes on and run out of the door. Aiden sat in his car and met him as he was fleeing.

" Uh, hey," Josh said as he climbed into the car.

" How's it going," The shaded vampire asked as he started driving.

" I killed someone," the car slammed to a stop.

"You what?!" Aiden ripped his sunglasses off.

" I don't know!" Josh screamed back. " I mean there was an arm back in the cabin! I ran, I didn't know if it was me or if it was..."

" Brynn or Nora?" Aiden started backing the car up.

" Yeah, Aiden something happened last night,"

" Aside of you ripping someone to shreds? What could have possibly happened?" He got out and forced Josh to come with him. The scent of blood was still strong as ever to Josh and as for Aiden he almost was terrified.

"Why are we going back?! Let's go, let the cops find it or something," Josh pleaded as Aiden kept walking.

" We need to find out who it was so I can get it covered up, if mother knew that you were still alive and killing she'd send others," He stepped into the cabin doorway.

" That's just it! I don't know who it is, they're probably dead, can't tell a tale, and it'd be a wild animal attack." Josh turned around to have his back toward the doorway. He refused to walk inside. Aiden leaned outside the doorway.

" Wait a minute," he stepped toward Josh, "You never let this stuff go, it's not you, what happened last night Josh." Josh put a hand on his neck and rubbed.

" I kinda..." he sighed. " I was in control of the wolf. But only for a little bit, it wasn't a 'I was in control of what I did,' it was I could feel new things,"

" What do you mean a little bit? How long?"

" Just through the transformation, I went running and smelt blood and that was really all I could remember, the wolf took over at that point and I woke up here not even near that thing," he leaned and looked inside, the arm was still there, hadn't moved.

"What aren't you telling me here," Aiden got close to Josh, almost nose to nose. Josh took a step back almost frightened, his heart started to pound.

" I'm telling you want happened! It's all I can remember.." Aiden listened to the beats.

" Your lying Josh, your hearts a dead giveaway, pretty sure its thunder in your ears right now too, and unless you tell me what the hell really happened I can't cover for your ass." Josh snapped and lunged at Aiden, hand around his throat holding him to the wall of the cabin. Josh lifted the vampire off the ground with one arm while fangs and golden eyes stared at him.

Aiden clawed at Josh's arm.

" I didn't do this, that much I can remember, so you should stop saying it!" The strong voice screamed. Josh let Aiden's Body drop and he landed on his feet. Meanwhile Josh knelt down to the ground as he looked as his clawed hands.

" Josh what, what the hell is going on with you?" Aiden put a hand on his neck to feel the claw holes that Josh had left.

" I don't know!" He screamed and looked up at Aiden who stood over him, " I liked it okay? I liked being the wolf for once in my life now make it stop!" Josh grabbed his chest as a pain hit him.

" Josh you have to stop, you have to calm down, understand me?" Aiden knelt by Josh and put a hand on his shoulder. "If you transform now it's light people will see you, I can't protect you."

Josh panted, he hit the ground with his clawed fist, he wanted to howl, he wanted to scream but he knew it wasn't right, not now. He hung his head and started to sob.

" Aiden I didn't kill anyone, I'm not that type of wolf, you know me I protect, I protected Nora, I'm not them." He breathed heavily as he started to calm down. Aiden stayed next to him as minutes went by. Josh looked up at him, his eyes were reverting back to their hazel color, his fangs started to retract and his hands were normal.

" I believe you, it's okay, calm down. I'll just talk to Suren, I'll find out what happened, you just need to get some rest, let's go home." He helped up Josh who was still in a half sob. They walked to the car and drove home silently. As soon as the door opened Sally appeared in front of them.

" It's about time you guys got home!" Her eyes were wide.

" Not now sally," Aiden said calmly trying to lead Josh up the stairs.

" But you have to listen! There's this guy, he..."

" Not now!" Aiden turned to her.

" Ugh, can't I ever be happy without you raining on my parade?" She put her hands on her hips.

" Listen Sally, I don't mean to be a thunderstorm on your field of daisy's but Josh just needs to be alone right now." Aiden finished off his sentence and was out of view from her looking up the stairs. She was not going to let them get away that easily and phased into Josh's bedroom in front of the two.

" What is so important right now that I can't tell you about my fantastic night?" She crossed her arms waiting for some form on an explanation.

"Sally, we don't need this right now, specially Josh he just needs some peace and quiet." Josh turned toward him about to sob again.

" Ugh you'd think someone died. Well aside from me, but I'm dead, and I'm happy," she jumped and did a cheerleader twirl. All of a sudden they heard a low animalistic growl.

" I'm tired of you," Josh looked at her, his eyes starting to glow. " You never listen, anytime you want you just come in here." Fangs began to poke through his lip.

" Uh Aiden," Sally took a step back. " Aiden what's wrong with him?"

" Now you see why I said to leave us alone for a bit?" Aiden grabbed the now snarling Josh's arms and held them behind his back.

"It's never what I want anymore, every day it's about you, what about me, what about the wolf?! " Josh went to lunge at Sally but was held back. Struggling and snarling Aiden held onto him.

"Just get out Sally I'll get him calm,"

"It's not the full moon anymore, why is he changing?" She ran behind both of them as Aiden gripped the called hands tighter. " What did he mean, what about the wolf?

"If I knew that, I wouldn't be here right now, holding on to my best friends arms as he turned back into a werewolf." After a few moments Josh had stopped and turned his head toward both of them.

"I'm sorry, Sally, I'm so sorry I don't..." she interjected.

" No Josh it's fine, it's perfectly normal, your just having a bad time of the month, I got it, it's okay." She walked out of the doorway. After a couple of minutes Aiden walked out and softly closed the door behind him. Sally rushed up to him as he was taking off his jacket. " What was that? In there? What the hell just happened? When I was having a bad time of the month I normally sat and cried while watching lifetime." She raised her arm pointing at the door with her palm open. He looked around and then pointed downstairs secretly.

"Let's give him some space." He said quietly as they walked downstairs.

" What's going on with Josh?"

"He was in control of the wolf last night," Aiden took a seat on the couch.

"Isn't that a good thing? I mean now he won't be some bloodthirsty animal running around trying to kill anything he comes in contact with." She sat down next to him.

" Yes and No, Yes to he won't kill anyone, and no to if he fully accepts the wolf , we may lose him."

"Lose him? Pretty sure he's trained to come home."

"Oh that's low, but he may run free if you will, geez it's hard to put it into words. If he accepts the wolf and who he is, he may stay a,"

"A? He may stay what?" She turned towards him.

"He may stay a wolf, like permanently." His voice was full of sadness.

" I thought he could only transform on full moon nights, oh...that would explain." Aiden nodded his head. "What happened upstairs." She finished her sentence and fell back into the couch.

" Certain werewolves from what I can remember can change anytime they want if they're in tune enough with nature or some folk lore like that, other legends tell of werewolves giving up their human life to stay wolves." Aiden squeezed a pillow and pretended to tear it apart. " Being that the twins were purebloods and Josh was around them for a bit may be causing this somehow. It could even be because this is first full moon where Nora's completely out of the picture."

" The twins? You mean the ones that were all buddy buddy to Nora?"

"Yeah, even though Brynn's the only pureblood left she took Nora with her as moral support if you will." He grunted as he got off the couch and went over to the fridge.

"Is there a huge difference between purebloods and werewolves who were turned later on?" Sally followed him into the kitchen and sat down on one of the chairs. Aiden who was looking into the fridge closed it without grabbing anything.

" Not that I know of, I mean aside from vampires being intimidated by purebloods they have more strength, and speed."

" So there's nothing else you can think of?" Sally turned toward Aiden.

" Not really, all that's on my mind right now is that arm we found."

"A human arm?" Aiden nodded his head again.

"Yeah, it was just there in the forest, Josh can't remember anything about it and I need to get rid of it before there's any form of investigation."

"Well that's lovely, think you're going to need a hand?" She cracked a smirk and so did Aiden. He got up and grabbed his coat.

"Just leave him be for a bit hopefully a nap will calm him down enough," he grabbed his keys and went to the door.

"What if he freaks out again?"

" If he starts to transform again just get out of the way." He shut the door behind him as Sally stood when she heard the motor start.

" Easy for you to say, Oh don't mind me, I'm just the watch ghost looking after our watchdog." She went back to the couch and laid flat on her stomach, face in a pillow.

Meanwhile Josh was asleep, but tossing and turning, he would whimper every now and then along with let out small snarls and scratch at the bed. His nails were still wolf like and his ears were slightly pointed. A cold sweat trickled down his face as he rolled over violently and tore at his sheets.

_"What is this place? Hello?" He called out. " Can anyone hear me?" The dark suddenly lit around him revealing trees and the cabin in a distance in front of him. " Hello? What's going on?" The forest was full of life that night, critters were rummaging around, birds were flying catching insects for their dinner, and he noticed every detail that was going on._

_"It's about time Josh," Connor stepped out of the cabins doors._

_" What do you want, " Josh growled at him and stood ready to throw a punch._

_"You Josh, you're what we always wanted." He let out a small chuckle and bared his fangs._

_"No, I'm not your play thing you hear me? I'm not like you. Any of you, not even Nora anymore." He snarled and then pointed a clawed hand. " Leave me alone, I'm not the wolf you are. I didn't ask for this." Brynn slowly walked out of the cabin and over to Josh who backed away._

_" Sssh, hush now, there's no one here to harm you. Your our guest of honor tonight Josh, understand that." She walked behind him putting her head on his back. He stepped away from her but still facing Connor._

_"Why am I here, leave me alone," he cringed as he felt his body ready to change._

_" Josh your part of the pack now, and there needs to be an Alpha. You made sure of that when you killed me. Well that is, you didn't kill me, your little vampire friend did. You'll have to thank him for me." Connor took off his jacket and shirt and Brynn stood next to him growling lightly almost in a seductive way. " But all in the same way, someone has to be in charge now."_

_"Where's Nora?" _

_"You won't have to worry about her anymore," Brynn walked closer to him._

_"What did you do with her?" Josh knelt down his breath panting his hands clawed and his eyes glowing. _

_"We did nothing, you on the other hand." Connor started laughing as he threw the torn arm in front of Josh almost cracking up as it landed and rolled closer._

_"No, I wouldn't have." He cried out." It's not her, it's not, I wouldn't.." He kept repeating._

_"You wouldn't have, but your wolf would. You should accept what you are Josh, join us, be free. You were born for this, and now the world can be at your claws." Brynn came nose to nose with Josh. He lifted back his head and howled in pain as the transformation started. She giggled lightly as she started to turn in front of him. _

Bolting up Josh looked as his hands, as he thought they were clawed but suddenly shifted back into human nails. He looked around the room, his sheets were shredded as were his clothes, and his dignity. He got up and jumped into the shower, afterwards putting on some clean clothes. Sally who was downstairs heard the shower start and ran to be sitting in the kitchen as Josh came down the stairs.

"Good morning," she announced as she pretended to read the newspaper that was lying on the table.

" Uh, hi,"

" How's it going?" she asked nonchalantly. He slammed a bowl down onto the table startling her and opened the fridge.

" I guess Aiden told you," he said as he sat down and poured himself a bowl of cereal.

"Told me what exactly?" She continued to pretend read.

" That I'm going crazy apparently." He started munching away.

" You're not going crazy, I've seen crazy, and you're not it." She looked up at him. He chewed at his cereal.

"I feel like it, and now I ruined my sheets on my bed." Sally's eyes widened.

" Accident?" She didn't want to be the one to say it.

" More like shredded." He took another bite.

"Ah, well things happen I guess, Oh! Now can I tell you about this ghost I met?" Her mood went from calm to ecstatic in seconds.

"Is he just like all your other ghost friends, dead?"

"Well yes but this one's really different."

"How so?" He looked up at her.

" Well he's quiet, cute, shy, and oh Josh he's so cute." She grinned.

"Is that even possible? I mean can ghosts love?"

" I think we can, I know we can shred and that takes hatred or something like that, so we have to be able to love." She watched as he filled his bowl for a second time. " Hungry?"

"Yeah, apparently I didn't eat enough last night," he furrowed his brow. " Where's Aiden?"

" He went to go do vampire things I think, you know, skulk in the shadows, drink blood, be all," she pretended to hiss and have fangs while raising her hands in the air. He let out a chuckle and then paused for a minute.

"Sally I'm not a bad person am I?" He put the spoon in the dish as it made a small clink noise.

" No, why would you be?" she looked at him puzzled.

" I'm sorry for what happened earlier." he looked down.

" For what? I don't remember anything unusual." She cocked her head.

" Sally can I tell you something, Aiden doesn't know and he needs to stay unknowing, I mean you can't tell him.

"Sure sure, you can trust me, pinky swears." She extended her pinky.

" I think I miss being a wolf. I mean I just felt normal you know?" He rested his head in his hands and let out a sigh.

" Now what makes you say that?" she tried to play it cool.

" I was free," he spoke quietly. " There was no one after me, I was just a wolf." He lifted his head from his hands and looked at her. She tried not to show anything back but ended up acting anxious.

"Well I don't know about that Josh, your normal here, you're eating cereal just like a normal person." Sally stared at him. Josh's eyes were deep gold instead of their hazel again.

" Yeah I know but, I feel like I'm missing something that I had,"

" You were missing me, duh, now come on their having an all day Scooby-doo marathon and I think we should watch it like _normal_ people." She put so much emphasis on normal it sickened her. He stood up and cleaned his bowl in the sink.

" I think I'm just going to go lay down again." He looked at her almost asking for an opinion. She noticed his eyes had faded back to normal.

" Yeah sure that's a great idea too, we could get some rest, don't forget to change your sheets." He nodded and walked up the stairs.

" Night Sally," he called down and shut his door.

" Night," she answered back and sighed. " I hope Aiden finds out what's going on with this or I'm going to have to call animal control on a lost dog sooner or later.

Aiden was back at the cabin, Suren was with him as they entered into the doorway.

" And now he's starting to transform when even the slightest thing bothers him," he huffed while grabbing a rag and picked up the dead arm.

"Mother can't know of this, so we can't tell any of the officers. Even though Cecelia was our main lead in." Suren smirked.

"I apologized about that, as did Josh hundreds of times, no I just need to find out who's arm this belongs to."

" Almost smells like that one wolf that was living with you guys, now what was her name?" She sat on one of the wooden chairs.

" Nora? No she ran away with the other pureblood, and I made sure they'd be long gone." Aiden put the arm into the plastic black trash-bag he had brought with him.

" Hmm, well lets go play bloodhounds," she laughed softly with her seductive eyes focusing on Aiden. He smirked and walked outside the cabin door motioning for her to follow. She reluctantly stood.

" The blood smells old, but I'm pretty sure it's not that far away," Aiden took a whiff of air in as he made his way through the forest.

" Your beginning to sound more like your mutt Aiden." She continued behind him slowly.

"That mutt, is my best friend, and I would protect him with my life." He stopped and pushed the brush out of his way. They walked what seemed the length of a football field before Aiden stopped. There was a partial piece of a torn shirt on one of the branches. "Whoever it was ran," he kneeled down to look at footprints.

" From Josh," Suren pointed out a set of claw marks and paw prints left in the mud. Aiden's heart sank.

"No he wouldn't have done this, it's not Josh, not his wolf anyway." Aiden got up and took a few steps over. It was a body. The body of a younger female laying next to a small stream of water. They took a step back as they inhaled the scent of death. She was covered in claw marks and bite wounds, her neck had been torn out along with a shoulder missing its attached arm.

" The bodies been here to long," Aiden took a step closer.

" Josh couldn't have, the full moon was last night and she's been here for at least a week based on the smell." Suren clamped her nostrils with her hand.

" Or since the last full moon when all four of them were out here." Aiden took off his jacket and handed it to Suren. "Might as well get rid of her," he began digging with his hands next to the stream.

"I have a better idea," Suren smiled as she gathered a few of the fallen branches and started a small fire. She lifted the body and leisurely tossed it in. " There in a few hours no more body." Aiden threw the arm in as well.

" At least I can tell Josh it may not have been him," he pulled up a log as she sat down. He plopped down next to her.

" Can you also tell him to eat healthier things?" She grinned softly and turned toward the now smiling Aiden. He leaned in and kissed her gently as the fire burned.

Josh on the other hand was laying on his bed staring outside his window. It wasn't the full moon anymore but as he laid there looking out at the illuminated moon it made his heart race. He raised his hand toward the window, pretending as if he could reach out and pretended to snatch it up.

"_Josh,"_ he heard Nora call out as his eyelids closed and reopened halfway. _"Josh come home."_

"Nora?" he whispered as his head fell back on his pillow passing out.

Sally's head perked as she began to hear rustling from upstairs.

"Josh?" she got up from the couch and slowly walked toward the stairway. " You okay up there? Josh?" The rustling turned into a loud crash. "Oh please, oh please, don't let this be what I think it is." It was then she heard the loud snarl coming from the top of the stairs. She leaned in trying to get a glimpse up the stairway, he came into view meeting her gaze with a pair of yellow eyes. " Oh god no, Josh." She began to tear up as he howled. He wasn't a full wolf yet but the fangs, claws and extra amounts of hair told Sally she had to get out of there. He lunged, she screamed and ran for the door. She searched for Aiden in her mind and phased to him. Suren and him had been sitting in front of the low burning fire smiling as she appeared.

" Sally?" Aiden's attention went from one hundred percent Suren to now one hundred percent ghost.

" Aiden you have to come back," she cried and wiped at her eyes. " Josh is, he tried, you need to get home, now!" She huffed the last part. Aiden looked at Suren and grabbed her hand pulling her up with him. They booked it to the car and drove as fast as they could. As they pulled up the house sat quiet. Aiden ran to the door and listened from the outside as Suren slowly climbed out of the car.

"He's in there," she stopped just short of the bottom stone step.

" Yeah but which he, the wolf or Josh." Sally phased next to him. Aiden slowly opened the door to see through a crack. The room was pitch black but he could hear panting in the living room. " Josh?" He took a step further into the darkness.

"Get out Aiden," a low husky tone came from inside the room. " Before I do something I'm going to regret."

" Josh no, I'm here to help you, I don't want to hurt you, I just need you to calm down." Suren and Sally had crept up behind Aiden who was now halfway into the room. Suren turned and closed the door behind them. " See no one's leaving, we're all here,"

"She left, because I wasn't a wolf like her," he snarled. "I can show her a real wolf now." The lights flipped on and Josh ran at Aiden grabbing at his jacket and swiping at him with clawed hands.

" Josh come on! Listen to yourself," Aiden ducked from a few swipes. " You're not a wolf Josh, your you. The wolf is just a part of you." Josh charged again, this time teeth bared as he ran into Aiden, knocking him to the floor. Josh bit down into piercing in Aiden's shoulder, ripping and tearing at his muscles. Aiden's eyes went black as his fangs bared and hissed as he pushed Josh off of him sending him into the wall next to the fireplace.

" No you don't understand, I want this to happen!" They heard two voices as he spoke while he was down on all fours, " For once in my life I'm powerful!" Josh got back up growling as he ran at Aiden this time being knocked into the kitchen doorway by Suren who stood black eyed as Aiden had. Josh laid on the floor face down groaning as the dust settled.

" Aiden are you alright?" Sally ran over to Aiden as he sat back against the wall.

"Yeah I'll be fine it'll heal," he grabbed at his shoulder. The bite had gone through his leather jacket leaving blood to trickle down. Josh moaned in pain as he moved. Suren stood motionless ready to stop him if he lunged again.

"Josh are you back?" Sally called out softly. The groaning body rolled over to reveal a normal or at least human looking Josh.

"Are you..." he panted. " Aiden? What did I?" He tried to lift his head to look at the group standing in the other room. "What's happening to me?"

After a little while had passed, Aiden was bandaged and Josh was sitting at the kitchen table. It reminded him of being interrogated when Nora's investigation was going on. He sat with his head hung in shame while Suren swept up the dust and pieces of drywall that had broken.

"What's the last thing you can remember?" Aide sat next to him. Josh stared at his bandaged shoulder. " I can't help you unless I know every detail."

" I had a dream early about the twins telling me they needed an alpha now, and when I woke up I had shredded all my sheets, so I changed them out, I came down here and was talking to Sally. We did talk right?" Sally nodded her head energetically. " Then suddenly I'm laying on the floor and it felt like I had gotten into a bar fight." He sighed and locked his fingers together.

" Well if it makes you feel better we found the body." Aiden tapped his fingers on the table as Josh watched every finger hit the table. Thump-thump-thump-thump. " You're in luck, it wasn't you, the body had been dead for awhile." Thump-thump-thump-thump. Josh watched each finger like it was in slow motion. "Josh!" Aiden snapped his fingers scaring him back to reality.

"Sorry! But can you stop that, it's so loud right now." He laid his head on the cold table.

" Until we figure out what's going on with him I recommend we put him in one of the cellars we have away from the city." Suren walked over and put her hand on Aiden's not damaged shoulder. " Say he transforms while you guys are at work, pretty sure there's no, 'Accidental werewolf clause,' on their insurance anywhere."

" Yes, lock me up, but instead just let me die." Josh murmured out just loud enough for the vampires to hear.

" I'm not going to let this get the best of you, you hear me?" Aiden cupped his hand on Josh's shoulder.

"Josh you said you had dreamt about the purebloods right?" Suren took a step away clearly deep in thought.

" Yeah, Brynn was hitting on me and Connor told me they needed a new alpha. It was just a dream though," Josh picked his head up and looked over at some of the claw marks on the floor.

"Alpha werewolves are mostly purebloods, in Josh's case Connor was the alpha of the pack, when you guys killed him his instincts took over. Josh can't control the wolf right now because it believes it's the new alpha. Since it was so soon after the full moon of course he would react. I mean even the scent of his blood was enough to probably set this off." Suren stood with her hands on her hips almost victoriously.

"Okay so," Josh shrugged in a questioning position.

" So what?" Sally scoffed.

" So how do I make it stop?" Josh snarled and then stopped himself by covering his mouth with both hands. " How do I make this stop." He looked at Suren with pleading eyes.

"Beats me, I'm a vampire, not a mutt." She laughed slightly. Josh furrowed his brow in an angry glance.

" Look I'm pretty sure that if you just stay away from annoying situations for a bit you'll probably go back to normal." Aiden answered politely. " You should just stay away from work, the cabin, anywhere that can set you off. We can send you out toward the coast if you want to take a break."

" Just need to make sure Mother, Hegeman and Atlee are completely unaware of this." Suren cautioned.

" Atlee would have to know it's his area but he owes me," Aiden rubbed his chin.

" He owes you?" Suren leaned in.

"Just leave it be." Aiden glared. " I would do it Josh."

" But what if I, I mean the wolf takes control where I can't come back? No one would be around to stop me or bring me back." Josh laid his head on his arms which were resting on the table.

" I could," Sally spoke up and took a few steps closer. " I mean you can't hurt me, and I'd be able to pop in whenever."

"There you go Josh, it's settled, I'll drive you out there tomorrow night." Aiden stood. Josh sat quietly as Aiden walked Suren outside the door and Sally stood there nervously.

" I'm not going to hurt you Sally," he closed his eyes and sighed.

"You can't hurt me Josh, I mean come on, I'm a ghost." She walked over toward the stove resting her back against the front of it.

"I hope so," he got up and grabbed his cell phone. " I hope their right," he turned back towards her while holding the phone to his ear. " Yes, Hi, Can I talk to Mary please." He tapped his foot. " Hey Mary, Josh here, listen I hate to do this too you but I'm going to need to take the next week off, my mother's pretty sick and...oh okay, well thank you I appreciate it."

"You good to go?" Sally walked toward him.

"Yeah she said when I rushed out of there last night it seemed like something was up and to take as much time as I needed, still I hate lying to them like that I mean my mom's perfectly healthy." He tucked the phone into his pocket and walked toward the stairway. He stopped and looked back toward Sally. " Listen, if something should happen to me," he paused as he tried to word what to say. " When I'm at this place, if the wolf should show up, please don't let me live like this. " He started to tear up.

" Oh Josh," she cupped her mouth and started to cry. "Don't say things like that," he took a few steps toward her as she took one step back. It hurt him to see that happen and he hung his head in shame.

"There's nothing I can do to take back what I did, and what I can do, please don't let me lose my humanity Sally. If I get to far from the light just stop me once and for all. I wouldn't be able to hurt anyone anymore." He walked back towards the stairs and proceeded up. Aiden came through the door to see Sally sitting on the couch tears streaming down her cheeks.

"What did I miss?"

"Oh nothing, nothing. Just uh. Josh and I having a heart to heart." She wiped off one of her cheeks with her sweater.

" Uh huh, now are you going to stop lying and tell the truth?" He sat down next to her.

" Just leave it alone Aiden." She phased out of the room and into the alleyway outside, there she sat in a fetal position and there is where she wept.

The next afternoon Josh flurried around his room packing different types of clothing as he mumbled to himself. Aiden and Sally were downstairs listening to him occasionally swear as he would knock something over as he hurried around.

" You better this morning?" Aiden said as he grabbed one of his stashed bags of blood in the fridge and began to drink it.

"Peachy." Her sarcastic tone almost bothered him.

" He just needs time."

"What if he you know, goes all 'grrrr howl,'" she pretended. " And I can't stop him, what if he's trapped like that forever."

" He won't trust me on this, Josh just needs time to think it out and when he realizes that he still wants to be normal things will go back to the way they were."

" The way they were before, you mean before the whole, 'Hi I'm a vampire will you be my roommate and we can pretend to be humans?' or the, 'I accidentally bit my girlfriend and now she's a werewolf too now I have to live with what I've done.'"

"Which one was number one again?"he cocked his head to the side. Josh came down the stairs fighting with his two bags. " Think you have enough there?"

"Well in this one, " he pointed toward his backpack that was stuffed to the brim. " I have the video camera and other various testing equipment, and the other is just clothes why? Should I pack more?" Aiden shot Sally a smirk.

"This before."

"What?" Josh looked up from zipping up his backpack. Sally smiled. They loaded up Aiden's car as Sally waved them off from the doorway, once the car was out of sight she walked into the living room and sighed.

"Let's just hope the wolf doesn't win, I can't kill him, I just can't."

The two chit chatted about random things to pass the time as they drove. It was a scene of two best friends driving and laughing about old stories and better times. It was what Josh needed, it was happiness and a sense of serenity. In this car sat two normal guys, not a werewolf and a vampire, no this was a glance of what they really wanted. This was bliss.

"Now I spoke to Atlee about you and as always he's less than enthused but I convinced him it was only for a short time and he agreed to stay away from the area. If his end of the bargain stays Mother won't find out either and I'm sure Suren won't say anything." Aiden leaned his sunglasses down on to the tip of his nose as he looked over at Josh who had his eyes now glued out of the window.

" I'm just afraid Aiden."

" Of Atlee? Don't be, he owes me anyway. Plus if he were to harm you I can just tell the council the truth of what really happened last month." The country side that they drove on seemed to resemble something out of Ireland with its ocean splashing along the mountain side and it's continuous fields of livestock.

" No Aiden," Josh shifted in the seat. " What if my dream was a sign, what if I'm turning into this alpha or whatever and I lose who I am. I get to that point where I can't remember you or Sally, my family. " His gaze didn't leave the window.

" Don't talk like that, I know you Josh, you'll never get to that point, I won't let you. Whatever this is, is just a phase probably. Like Suren said, your wolf is in overdrive right now, once you learn to control it everything will go back to normal." The car pulled into a small stone cottage, the setting was perfect, behind it was an open forest that stretched for miles. Josh stepped out of the car and began walking slowly towards the trees in a trancelike state. " Josh?" Aiden ran up to him and grabbed his arm. Josh stood bewildered as he turned.

" I, I should grab my stuff." He looked down ashamed while walking back to the car and took out his bags. Aiden had went up and unlocked the door, the place was musty but it was enough for its week long purpose.

" Wow," he waved his hand in front of his face. " This place hasn't been used in years." He coughed as he moved a dust covered sheet that was on what appeared to me a couch. Josh crept in behind him half expecting to find some trace of vampire activity going on inside. He sat his bags down and sneezed multiple times.

" Oh god," he sneezed again. " I have to stay here? Like this?" Aiden walked over to a nearby window and pried it open.

" It's only for a week, then I'll be right back for you as soon as the sun sets." He walked around the cottage investigating. " Oh hand me your phone." Josh did so. " You won't have this either, I'll make sure to keep up about you at the hospital."

"I need that! What if my sister calls or something." Aiden started going through the phones call log.

" The last person who called you was, oh look no one's called you," Josh scowled at him.

" Point taken. Well how will you know if I'm better or not?" He asked as he crossed his arms.

"Uh, that's where I come in," Sally said softly as she phased in. Her eyes took a minute to survey the area. " Quaint."

" Alright Sally, let's go, it's his time now." Aiden turned and exited the cottage as Sally gave a heartfelt smile while phasing back out. Josh followed Aiden for a few steps.

" I'm going to be okay right?" Josh sounded slightly worried.

"You'll be fine Josh, You'll figure it out, you always do." Aiden smiled as he put his sunglasses back on and sped off. Josh put his hands on his hips and let out a sigh.

" Okay then," he turned and went back into the cottage. Taking a few minutes to dust off some of the furniture he noticed that most of it seemed to come from the early 1920's, they had a sort of ancient royalty to them. Josh froze as he heard a knock at the door. Anxiety hit him as he picked up the metal fire stoker and crept toward the door. " Hello?" He called out. There was no answer, " Uh, if anyone is out there I have a weapon and I'm not afraid to use it." He flung the door open and ran out with the stoker held above his head.

There was a very large box setting just outside the doorway and no one was in sight. He moved closer to the box to see labels reading frozen meat. " Well at least foods covered." He grabbed the box and walked back inside however he did one more double take as he went to shut the door. It was like there was someone watching him. He unpacked the numerous amounts of steaks, pieces of chicken and what appeared to be a few pounds of hamburger meat. His stomach growled as he emptied the rest of the box of its frozen potatoes, French fries, a few sodas and a couple bags of chips. He tore into one of the bags and began munching away when a slight sparkle on the cupboard that caught his eye. He walked over and picked up what appeared to be a small cross necklace. After a minute of holding the chain his hand began to heat and blister. Dropping it quickly he saw a red line burnt into his hand.

"Of course, silver." He scowled. " Just reinforces the fact I'm a werewolf, nothing to discover about that one!" He walked over to the couch and plopped down. A puff of dust lifted causing him to start sneezing once more. He grunted and then got back up and walked to the door. Deciding it was getting cold the need for firewood came into play. He put on his jacket and walked only a short way into the woods around the cottage, picking up branches and thicker pieces of wood that were on the ground was actually relaxing to him. Bringing up memories when his family would go camping with their tents, his sister and him would have to go grab firewood so their dad could cook the fish that he had caught while everyone was off exploring.

He sighed and kept walking, there was a gentle breeze from the night air bringing scents of pine and impending rain hung around as he breathed. Maybe Aiden was right, since leaving the house he hadn't lost control or even been remotely close to turning back into a werewolf.

"Maybe I'm cured, well as cured as being a werewolf can be I guess," he made his way back towards the cottage. Not realizing how long he had been outside he noticed it was very dark now. The moon was present, hanging in the sky as he walked with his back towards it. It was then that it started to bother him, he kept himself turned away even though now he was constantly thinking of looking at it. His heart became like a drum beating in his ears as he walked. " It's not the full moon Josh, you can handle this, nothings bothering you, your fine." He repeated about ten times before he made it to the doorway and ran inside.

His heart kept beating thunderously, he grabbed at his head as the wood pieces fell all over the floor. " No!" He cried. He felt the change coming and it scared him. " It's not the full moon Josh, stop this!" He pleaded with himself as he fell into the door, it creaked as his back hit it forcefully. He screamed as he felt his fingernails grow along with fangs protruding through his lip. " No!" He continued to scream it as his body shook.

Suddenly the door flew open as he was changing on the cabins floor. Josh turned golden eyed and snarled. No one was there but the wolf was telling him to run. He tore at his clothes trying to get out of the doorway. He struggled to make it, his body was already changing back into a wolf. He booked it into the forest, charging in at his top running speed he barely made it to a small clearing between the trees before he finished the transformation. Down on all fours he screamed bloody murder as his muscles twisted and pulled and his legs extending then retracting as each part of his body changed.

Sally stood behind a tree as Josh changed in front of her, she had a tear streaming down her face as she watched one of best friends struggling. Josh being a wolf was at least safe from hurting anyone, even though he wasn't Josh tonight, she watched him finish changing and howl toward the night sky. " Oh josh, please figure this out." She phased back to the house.

" He okay?" Aiden asked as she reappeared.

" At the moment, no," she sat on the couch.

" No? He's been out there for six hours, how is he not okay?"

" Let's just say Josh isn't there right now," she was vague.

" Uh?" Aiden sat next to her. " What?"

" He's left the building."

" Elvis?" Aiden shrugged still completely absent minded.

" Josh is a werewolf right now! I just watched him transform. God Aiden! How could you not get that?" She stood and walked into the kitchen in a huff.

" It'd would have been easier if you just said, Hey, Josh just transformed." He walked over to her. "You okay?"

"I'm worried about him," she turned to face away from Aiden.

" I am too, but he needs this."

" He needs to be a wolf? I thought we were trying to keep him from enjoying it!"

" I don't exactly know what do in this situation and even after a few hundred years I'm still not werewolf savvy but I know that once he comes to terms with whatever he's dealing with right now he'll be better."

" And."

"And? What?"

" What if he likes it Aiden what if he leaves to go find Brynn or Nora, god knows he's still bent about her." She turned with her arms crossed.

" Even if Josh was to accept his wolf Nora still wouldn't be in the picture."

" How do you know?"

" Ever watch the national geographic channel?"

" Only never," she sighed.

" If Josh is taking over the alphas spot, he needs a beta. Nora was an omega a bitten of a bitten. Not second in line probably not even third. He would go after someone new or stronger then she was."

"This isn't some animal kingdom Aiden, this is Josh our best friend. I'm pretty sure he would still go after her, not to mention how long he stayed in his room and cried for her after she confessed and left."

" Sally you do realize, that we are the animals right? Normal human soap operas don't necessarily pertain to us. If anything he'd go after Brynn,"

" Like that makes it any better!" She huffed.

" Look, just relax, if things get too out of hand I'll step in okay?" Sally crossed her arms defeated.

"I'm going to go check on him." She phased out of the house. She reappeared in the cottage and looked around. Josh wasn't back yet but there were shredded pieces of clothing still laying on the floor along with the door being open. She willed the door shut while taking a seat on the old couch. She heard him howl then and stood to look out of the window, a long low howl. It was sad, almost melodic, calling out to anyone that would answer. Was Josh really supposed to be alone forever? He was the most normal out of the three and was only supposed to have to deal with the wolf once a month. Another howl brought her peeping through the window.

It was too dark for her to see what was going on outside but she knew he was around. Maybe after a few hours of running around he'd be tired and want to sleep, maybe even he'd come back as a human rather than sleep outside and wake up naked and alone. She grabbed her knees and hugged them tighter to her body while laying her head down.

The sun was beginning to rise when Josh woke up. Just like the morning previous he was laying in a strange place with the sun beaming straight into his eyes. Lifting his arm to block out the sun he grunted and pushed himself off the ground. His body covered in dirt and smeared with blood he made his way back to the small cottage. He was frustrated, upset with himself, upset with the world. He slammed the door open of the cottage startling Sally.

" Josh!" She jumped, noticing she was naked and quickly turned her head in the opposite direction. He gasped and ran into the bathroom.

" Sorry Sally," He yelled.

"Impressive." She laughed and sat back down on the couch. His head popped out of the door.

"What?" He looked concerned.

"Nothing Josh," she giggled, " Get dressed tell me about your night!" Defeated he went back into the bathroom shutting the door and running some water from the sink. It took a few moments for the water to actually start coming through and Josh started washing off the night before.

"It was a night, why?" He scrubbed his face and finished with the rest of him.

" Just missed you that's all." She sat on the couch waiting. He came out of the bathroom in a hurry with a towel covering his front half and grabbed his bag of clothes and ran back into the bathroom. Few more moments passed by as he re-emerged fully clothed and clean.

"You already know what happened last night," he walked over to the fridge and pulled out one of the unthawed chicken breasts. After a few moments he had trimmed it and threw it into a frying pan.

"Uhhhh," she played coy.

" You opened the door for me I felt it, in the middle of me turning back into a werewolf." He continued to cook.

" Okay, and?" She shrugged her shoulders and took a few steps into the hallway between the bathroom and the what seemed like the only bedroom in the place. " Didn't need you wrecking this place, and how was I supposed to know you were going to go all wolfy again, I was just coming to check up on you." Josh looked at the smug look on her face as she pranced around the cottage.

He walked over to the old rusty cast iron stove near the corner of the room and started a small fire. As soon as he was content with how hot it was burning he went over to the fridge and grabbed out some of chicken pieces that had provided for him. " Man I'm starving," he started to cook the meat. " Awe, there's no seasoning's here. Food's going to be bland as crap."

"Guess it's been then having no food," Sally twirled her hair.

" That is true, but hey, maybe I could have hunted for my next meal or something. God knows there is part of a dear or dead rabbit sitting out there from me eating the other part." He had shouted the ending bit at her making her back away slightly. " Oh god, I'm so sorry Sally, I don't mean to.."

"Josh stop right there," she demanded while walking closer to him. " I'm not scared of you, nor will I be, I was in shock. When you got mad there you did change." Sally was almost nose to nose with Josh.

"What do you mean?" He turned his attention to the now sizzling food.

" All the other times, when you got angry, even in the slightest, your eyes would change, or a fang would pop out. This time it didn't and you were serious too. Oh that's got to be good."

" Or bad, who knows with me right now anyway. Maybe tonight will be okay for me," he pulled the semi burnt pieces of cut chicken off the stove and placed the pan on a cooling cloth.

" No plate?" she cocked her head to the side.

" Ew, no, not in this dusty attic, there could be tons of germs waiting." Taking a bite he cupped his hand around his face and started to suck air into his mouth.

" Slow down fido, if you eat to fast you'll get a stomach ache."

I'm going to force myself to finish my other stories. It's been so many years. I'm not going to lose who I am.


End file.
